Bit of Knowledge

I stopped by a friend's house last night to catch the last few minutes of Jimmer Fredette's college career in basketball (although I am definitely not a BYU fan most of the time, I was hoping they would go farther in the NCAA). It was while talking with this friend that I vocalized what I had been in the process of realizing over the course of the last nine months: take one day at a time.

This is something that we should all remember to do, but often forget anyway. In this conversation, of course, I was referring to dating. He's 'feeling his age' (although he really isn't THAT old) and very much wants to settle down and have a family, much like so many others in our social realm. As we are practically like family, I gave him a bit of advice, while at the same time hoping that this will somehow seep into the lives of a few others that I know even though they were not around to hear it. I told him that when he starts dating someone, and things get serious, just take it one day at a time (which really you should do from the beginning). Fears and doubts will inevitably come, both to the guy and the girl. Neither will probably talk about them, hopefully they do but they most likely won't. When you start focusing on the distant future and eternity, you're fears will increase and you start to really look for things that are wrong; you start looking for 'deal-breakers.'

It is day by day that you grow closer together, day by day that you decide 'yeah, I think I do want to spend some time with you.' Take it one day at a time and you will find that the hard work required in relationships will not seem so overwhelming. One day you will realize that she (or he) is someone you want to be around more than just a few hours every couple of days. That you like having her around and don't really want that to change. And you keep moving forward, hopefully together. Communicating with each other, learning from each other, sharing experiences together, laughing and crying together.

Not right away probably, or even after just a couple of months, but at some point you will realize that yes, this is someone with whom you could spend the rest of forever, and perhaps you even want to. It doesn't really matter how long it takes, not to those who matter at least. That is when things might start to get exciting, might start to feel exciting, but you will feel peace whether that excitement is there or not, as long as you keep those fears and doubts at bay by faith - faith in Christ, faith in yourself and the one you are dating, faith in your relationship.

At least, this has been my experience.