Dad's day.

A little girl needs Daddy
For many, many things:
Like holding her high off the ground
Where the sunlight sings!
Like being the deep music
That tells her all is right
When she awakens frantic with
The terrors of the night.
Like being the great mountain
That rises in her heart
And shows her how she might get
home
When all else falls apart.
Like giving her the love
That is her sea and air,
So diving deep or soaring high
She'll always find him there.

His Sacred Name - An Easter Declaration

Princes and Princesses.

My friend wrote on her social networking status "to marry a prince, you have to become a princess." Shortly after reading that, I had asked a close friend of mine if I were a princess. I knew that he would be honest with me, as he usually tells things like they are. His answer was simple. "Yup."

I don't know about you, but when I hear the word prince, what usually comes to mind is the Snow White classic "Someday My Prince Will Come." Now that you have that tune going through your head...

I had once thought my prince did come, twice actually. Although the first was just a hope, and I wasn't a princess then. He was, however, a prince. The second I wanted him to be a prince - my prince. But he decided I wasn't his princess. I was once again locked in a tower, except now it seemed higher than ever. I believe it's still true though, one day my prince will come. Then he'll get smoked by the dragon. Yup, I'm pretty sure.

When I mentioned that to my friend, he told me that I didn't want a prince anyway. I wanted a King, who is merely a prince that is more manly. Here's how I see it going though: someday my prince will come and then he'll get smoked by the dragon. There's always a dragon. After going through that fire (or maybe in the midst of it) he'll step it up and become more manly, thus becoming a king willing to take me as his queen. And my mom tells me my life is no fairy tale! Ha!

Bit of Knowledge

I stopped by a friend's house last night to catch the last few minutes of Jimmer Fredette's college career in basketball (although I am definitely not a BYU fan most of the time, I was hoping they would go farther in the NCAA). It was while talking with this friend that I vocalized what I had been in the process of realizing over the course of the last nine months: take one day at a time.

This is something that we should all remember to do, but often forget anyway. In this conversation, of course, I was referring to dating. He's 'feeling his age' (although he really isn't THAT old) and very much wants to settle down and have a family, much like so many others in our social realm. As we are practically like family, I gave him a bit of advice, while at the same time hoping that this will somehow seep into the lives of a few others that I know even though they were not around to hear it. I told him that when he starts dating someone, and things get serious, just take it one day at a time (which really you should do from the beginning). Fears and doubts will inevitably come, both to the guy and the girl. Neither will probably talk about them, hopefully they do but they most likely won't. When you start focusing on the distant future and eternity, you're fears will increase and you start to really look for things that are wrong; you start looking for 'deal-breakers.'

It is day by day that you grow closer together, day by day that you decide 'yeah, I think I do want to spend some time with you.' Take it one day at a time and you will find that the hard work required in relationships will not seem so overwhelming. One day you will realize that she (or he) is someone you want to be around more than just a few hours every couple of days. That you like having her around and don't really want that to change. And you keep moving forward, hopefully together. Communicating with each other, learning from each other, sharing experiences together, laughing and crying together.

Not right away probably, or even after just a couple of months, but at some point you will realize that yes, this is someone with whom you could spend the rest of forever, and perhaps you even want to. It doesn't really matter how long it takes, not to those who matter at least. That is when things might start to get exciting, might start to feel exciting, but you will feel peace whether that excitement is there or not, as long as you keep those fears and doubts at bay by faith - faith in Christ, faith in yourself and the one you are dating, faith in your relationship.

At least, this has been my experience.

Time to Get Out and Do Something.

I promised to tell you about my recent-ish adventures, and now I shall fulfill that promise.

After some not-so-pleasant experiences in January (I swear, that month hates me every year!), my birthday came around in February. Close to last minute, I decided to run away to San Fransisco for my birthday weekend. I had told my roommate, and one or two other people on a need to know basis, and took off. I had an absolute blast! My ex-roommate, whom I was visiting out in California, made sure that weekend was packed full of fun! We went to Ghirardelli Square where she treated me to birthday ice cream, which was rather yummy :) We also went to Pier 39, Fisherman's Wharf, beaches, saw Alcatraz, and finally made it back home again where I was able to rest my exhausted legs. We stopped to watch a magic show and take a lot of pictures throughout the day.

The second day, after an eye opening experience at church (which I will tell you about if you ask), my ex-roommate and a new friend Farrah took me to see the Golden Gate Bridge. That is an amazing structure if you really think about it. I can see why people from that part of the country are so proud of it. That same evening, several of my host's friends came over for an ultimate frisbee dinner, which she had turned in to a 'let's celebrate Emma' dinner :) She's so silly. The host made the cake, and her roommate decorated it. They both did very well (despite what they may say). They even got my friend Braden to surprise me!! It was a perfect way to spend my birthday. Then, sadly, I had to leave and come back home. Don't think I wasn't strongly tempted to just stay out there and have my things sent to me...

A week or two later, an old college friend and her husband took me to go shooting! I already mentioned in a previous post how well the shooting went! While waiting for a lane, I got to talk to the workers a bit. Turns out one of them used to be an active member of my church but doesn't really want to live a lot of the standards we have or even just go to church. He recognized my BYU shirt and came up to give me a hard time about it. Sometimes it's funny how things can be turned around in to missionary opportunities. I look forward to more shooting range trips (and more possible missionary opportunities)!!

Hmmm....what happened next?

Oh, that's right! Two of my roommates and I went on an excursion to the Spy Museum! I don't have any pictures from there because, well, they don't let you take any. It was fun though. One of my roommates had family come join us, which made it all the more enjoyable! My other roommate and I had been before, but the rest of us were there for the first time. I got a free key chain, which was exciting, and I successfully passed the spy game! Not that many people who know me are all that surprised, but still, it's happy.

Last weekend, I went on another adventure traversing through the Shenandoah Mountains. A group of us went on a hike, where a few of us broke off for a bit from the trail and found the drop off point of the waterfall we were hoping to find! I had planned on not going on this trip actually, seeing as Joe was going on the hike and my heart still hurts quite a bit and it's likely that his does as well. But about an hour before the hike, after walking outside and feeling how beautiful a day it was, I showered, dressed, and hopped in my car to meet up with the group. Best decision I could have made that day. After the hike, we stopped on the way home to get some ice cream at the best little ice cream shop in that town. You should always end a hike with ice cream. I am really glad I went. I got to know several friends better, spend time in the great outdoors, conquer some fears, work some muscles, feel the love of my Heavenly Father, and see a little bit of improvement in one of my current situations. It was a wonderful day.

My life really is fairy tale, despite what my mother might say. Every fairy tale has rough times, but there are also those golden moments filled with friendship.

(Curtis is missing from the picture, but he was totally there! He was just the one taking the picture)

Amazing Grace

The song "Amazing Grace" always seems to touch my heart each time I hear it. So when my friend, Paul, broke down the song and found a scripture for each line, I couldn't help but share it.

Life's Lesson: Friendship

So, I carpool with one of my roommates to work every day, which gives us a lot of opportunity to chat should we desire to do so. On the way home the other day, we were talking about work and how she was feeling about school and how I was feeling about...other things. Somehow, the conversation turned to friendships and single's wards. In the midst of the conversation, we decided it was one we really should share with Sister Larsen. She has a wealth of knowledge and good advice and has this way of teaching us without us realizing it sometimes. Plus, she's an amazing woman.

Well, the opportunity came last night. I had gotten to institute early to practice with the choir and so had a few minutes to chat with Sister Larsen after choir but before class actually got started. We couldn't go very deep into the conversation because, well, class was going to start soon and my roommate would have killed me for having that conversation without her there! The two institute classes were combined, so we all studied from James Talmage's Jesus The Christ, focusing on "those things which proceed out of the mouth [which] defileth a man." I was sufficiently humbled as I listened to the discussion and reflected on those things I had said (and the way I had said them) and done, particularly over the last two months.

After institute my roommate, Sister Larsen and I sat down together and had our own little discussion.

The whole thing started when I was talking to a guy friend of mine in the ward who was frustrated with the whole single's ward scene. Granted, it's really annoying and I hate the stupid games. He was venting to me a bit because he was feeling antisocial, and he really did not like the 'social' people much just then. He was venting a bit because his roommates feel the need to go to every event anyone is putting on and be social, but they neglect the opportunities to sit down and get to know someone more one on one, and we are not necessarily talking about dating right now. On top of that, a good majority of the ward feel that a guy and a girl cannot be good friends unless they are dating or intend to date. But of course we are in a single's ward where we're only looking for an eternal companion...who needs friends, right? I hope you sense sarcasm when you read that last sentence because that is the stupidest thinking. No one has enough friends. But nearly every conversation I have at church feels very surface level and superficial, so none of us really feel like we have good friends. Well, most of us feel that way at least. I don't really consider someone just talking to me when they see me at church a friend; they are more of an acquaintance.

My roommate made a very keen observation though; We are all in the single's ward still (where the average age is about 27) because each one of us, to some degree, has a fear of commitment and even to be willing to truly be a friend and get past the superficial requires commitment. When you commit to someone on any level, you make yourself vulnerable and no one wants to feel vulnerable. (Kind of reminds me of the 'Love's Lesson: Irony' conversation I had...interesting.) This observation of my roommate's is precisely what we wanted to talk with Sister Larsen about. But when asked by the Joe's after institute what we were going to talk about with her, we couldn't very well say 'commitment.' It would have made things REALLY awkward for all individuals present.

Then the three of us (myself, my roommate, and Sister Larsen) all pulled up a chair and talked. We talked of how accurate that observation really was, and how that affects dating (you can't have a successful relationship without a friendship as it's base). We actually talked very little about dating, and kept the focus mostly on friendship and how when you get past the commitment fear and let your walls down so that you can have a close friendship, that is when you start to really care about those around you and you have a Zion society.

So, I've decided to try and change and make good friends. Perhaps it will spread, perhaps not. But I will not be one who doesn't make an effort. I will not be one of those that can't be good friends with someone just because I'm not interested in dating them. I will be one who can create opportunity to truly get to know someone and maybe make a friend or two out of it. I can't control what anyone else will do, I've learned that finally. And it may still hurt but the worst anyone can do is say 'no, I don't want that.'

In order to go out and accomplish this new mission of mine, I realize that I need to be more like the girl I was. So, I have made a resolution to not only make new and lasting friendships, but to again be one who seeks for the silver lining in each situation, to find the good. I am done complaining and venting and whatever else. It just brings me further down and makes everyone around me not as happy either. "Our words and external expressions...reflect both who we are and shape who we are becoming" (Robert S. Wood). I want to become better.